4 Lessons I Learned at 25
My big 2-6 is coming up February 3rd.
It’s not really big, I guess.
It’s simply another year to me. I’ve never made a big deal about my birthday, as for me, it’s not really a time of celebration, but instead, a time for me to assess where I currently am and where I am going.
Yeah, I know…I’m so fun.
The self-reflection thing is something I’m constantly doing and I actually don’t do my yearly goal-setting until May (this is when I graduated college, so it seemed as good a time as any to really document my personal and professional goals), but I figured I would write up a post on some things I’ve learned in the past year, as I feel this past one was one where I really grew up and learned a lot of life lessons.
Maybe you have learned these, or are in the process, and can relate!
Life Lessons Learned at 25
#1: I’m Not Invincible
This was a tough one to swallow, and yes, I had heard that this realization comes to all…but…I didn’t believe it (hence the lesson learned).
I won’t say this past year was hard, because there are people in the world having far worse problems than I, but it was the most challenging so far.
Up until this point, I was so used to everything going in exactly the way I thought it would and progressing forward at warp-speed.
Generally, that still happened this past year, but with far more bumps in the road. When I first started to experience it, I didn’t really know what to do.
“Wait…I’m not getting my way??”
In my case, it was transitioning into, and starting, my own business. I thought it was going to be a cake-walk based on my track record, but I quickly found out that just because you’ve been successful, doesn’t guarantee you always will be. People aren’t going to fall all over you with gobs of money simply because you have a website, gotten published a few places and you’ve gotten a few people great results.
Go figure, huh?
I was never a brat, but at the same time, I was so confused. I thought I was doing all the right things and working incredibly hard and yet, life seemed to be moving slower. I wasn’t used to words like “patience” and phrases like, “this stuff takes time.”
And instead of being proactive, I felt sorry for myself. And looking back, it was an incredible waste of time and energy. It affected my work, my sleep, and my own training.
I took a reactive attitude, instead of a proactive one.
I had never really faced that much adversity, so when it rained down, I freaked out, instead of looking it in the face and destroying it.
Sure, the business was and is successful, but I wanted more. I wanted meteoric success, not just success.
I thought I was a failure because I didn’t accomplish “XYZ” at such and such time in my life.
Throughout the year though, I learned that you simply cannot let things get in your way. You always have to be taking positive action and moving forward, even when it seems like everything is preventing you from doing just that.
When you are going after something truly great, you better expect to deal with a slower-than-expected timeline and MANY obstacles.
Otherwise, what you are going for probably isn’t that significant to begin with.
And that will no doubt happen when you start a new business. As with strength development, you might have linear progress for a while, but at some point, it will plateau and you will have to adjust to figure out how to break through it.
It took several months, but I have swallowed my pride and pulled myself out of those “woe is me” attitudes that can literally paralyze you from accomplishing meaningful work.
It’s probably the most powerful lesson I’ve learned in a long time, and I’m glad I had the chance to learn it now and be humbled, so I can move forward and really take things to the next level.
I will not be tossed around by challenging times again. There will, of course, be challenges, but I will face them with a much more formidable self.
#2: Everything Happens for a Reason…and You Need to be Patient With That Reason
There’s that freakin word patient again…
I’m not going to get spiritual here, but these words have helped me process challenges and setbacks much more productively (including, but not limited to, coming to terms with the fact that the Entourage movie doesn’t come out for another 6 months).
It’s easy to look at a given situation and be like, “WTF??”, but I think you just have to believe there is something greater at play.
Because if you put all the focus on yourself or the world around you, that’s a lot of pressure.
Plus, a lot of people in this world are unreliable. So don’t count on them to always deliver for you!
If something bad happens, it’s ok to be mad and/or upset, but then you have to take some time to think clearly the next day. You may not see the reason for something happening immediately, but it will reveal itself if you let it.
I learned this lesson very recently actually. Something happened and I thought the world was going to split in half, but after talking to Jess and a few friends I realized…well, it wasn’t.
Something greater is going to come of it, and I will be thankful one day for why it went down as it did.
Again, this is still a tough one to swallow sometimes, because I feel like I need to bend everything to MY will, but that’s just not how the world works.
You have to work your fanny off, be persistent, and put yourself in position to accomplish your goals, but if something happens out of your control, it’s not your fault. It’s not anyone’s fault. Life isn’t fair and you just have to keep pushing.
The worst thing that can happen is that you lose your will to push on. If you feel totally beat down, just do a couple positive things a day to get you going back in the right direction. This will give you some encouragement and then over time, you will have a lot of positive actions built up that will have you back on track toward your goals.
These actions could be exercising, eating healthy, going to bed early, cleaning your place, journaling…you get the idea…just think positive habits. And then you will have more positive thoughts.
#3: It’s Not How Much You Know, It’s How Much You Can Filter Out the Useless Crap and Truly Understand the Good
If you read the blog, you know I’m a continuing education nut. I’m always trying to better myself as a professional.
But I soon realized, especially after starting my own business, that I just don’t have the same amount of time and energy as I did when I worked in one place and had 4-5 clients over a 12-hour span, with no additional responsibility.
No longer can I sit down and read epic textbooks from front-to-back or attempt to understand everything there is to know.
I would love to, of course, but it also wouldn’t benefit me all that much as a coach.
I won’t ever know all there is to know.
What I can do is have an incredible grasp on the concepts and principles that will make me successful with the people that I work with.
For me, that means I can’t really spend hours learning sprint mechanics. The geek in me really wants to, and I have some foundational knowledge, but I will never be an expert.
Why?
I don’t work with sprinters.
I work primarily with people who want to look better naked, so why would I pore my time into that, when instead, I could be watching a webinar from Mike Robertson on how he sets up his body composition programs or studying teaching modifications Ben Bruno uses for the squat?
That would be a much more effective use of my time, both for myself, and for the clients that I work with.
When I was 24 and younger, I just studied whatever I could get my hands on. And then I would look back at my notes months later, and think,
“Huh?”
Because I never had to apply that knowledge!!
Going further, I came across something on StrengthCoach.com that stated you might use 3-4% of your base knowledge of fitness/nutrition in a given session.
3-4%!!
You have to make that 3-4% count, because it’s usually the little things we tell clients that they actually remember and apply for a lifetime.
It’s important to be able to open up a book, or watch a video, and not necessarily recite the whole thing back, but instead be able to succinctly relay the key points and discard the fluff.
I have learned this past year that that is what learning is really about.
As with movement, it’s about the quality, not the quantity.
I’ve found that if I really apply that, I end up sounding a lot more knowledgeable than if I try to rote memorize a bunch of random stuff that I may or may never use.
#4: Ohio State is Amazing
Oh sorry…still excited from the big game…but seriously, amazing season!!
I know there were a lot more things I learned, but I think the above sums up the big rocks.
I know 26 is going to be an amazing, and even more challenging, year, but now I’m much more prepared to rock-and-roll, no matter what comes my way.
I hope you are attacking whatever challenges lay ahead of you. Remember, if anything negative happens, follow it up with something positive that you can do.
I tell the following to clients who have tough sessions or miss a lift…
Tiger Woods wasn’t the best golfer in the world because he always drove the longest and straightest. It’s because he had the highest amount of birdies FOLLOWING a bogey.
Dominate All Life,
Kasey, CSCS
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